Happy Chinese New Year!

犬年 The Year of the Dog started January 29th

新年快乐! 恭喜发财!
Happy New Year! Congratulations and be prosperous!

January 29th was New Year's Day in the Chinese Lunar calendar, celebrated in China, Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, and other Asian countries. This is the Year of the Dog in Chinese Zodiac. It is a good year for many reasons. I hope everyone has a great year and is prosperous.

Wickipedia has a tremendous encyclopedia explanation of Chinese New Year at the web site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year

In mainland China, Chinese New Year marks the start of Spring Festival. Spring Festival is a 1 to 2 week National Holiday where it seems like the complete country gets on trains, planes, buses, automobiles, bicycles, motorcycles, and horses to visit their families and home towns. The usually vibrant and crowded city of Beijing feels like a ghost town during Spring Festival. It's a good time for tourists to find hotel rooms and visit different sites without crowds...so long as the tourists enjoy Beijing's COLD winter weather.

I'm praying this will be a very good year for my brother Alan, the solitary world traveler, and his fiancee ChenJing, who lives in Beijing. Last year, the Chicken year, was not good for marriage according to Chinese beliefs. The Chicken Year is also called the "Widow Year." Therefore they waited for the Dog Year to arrive. I hope this is the year they can finally start to enjoy a lifetime of happiness together. They have been apart far too much through the last 4-1/2 years that must truly seem like an eternity to them. Remaining in love through 4 years of being apart more than together - what a tremendous love story Alan and ChenJing will have to tell their grandchildren.

Wonderful Jane and I enjoyed Chinese New Year in as many countries as possible. New Years Eve, January 28th, was celebrated in Torino Italy - our last night there. We had to leave the hotel at 4:30 AM the next morning, so we went to bed early...cutting our Italian dinner to only 2-1/2 hours long. On Chinese New Year's day, we traveled from Torino Italy to Los Angeles with the following flights: Torino-to-Frankfurt Germany, Frankfurt-to-Amsterdam Netherlands, Amsterdam-to-Washington DC, and Washington-to-Los Angeles. 6 countries across the ocean and 7 major cities in one day of travel. Yes. We had a long New Year's Day.

What a good way to start the new year...Jane and I coming home together, safe and smiling, from a great adventure.

Torino Receives Snow for the Olympics

Torino Winter Olympics Preparations Continue - Snow Received Just in Time

Torino continued its preparations for the Winter Olympics with superb planning and organization, receiving snow on a just-in-time delivery basis. The Torino Olympic organizing committee successfully adopted Japanese business management techniques, such as intensive research and impeccable planning combined with just-in-time JIT deliveries of critical items such as snow.

Torino Olympic organizers delayed snow and precipitation during autumn and early winter to prevent delays in facility construction and allow delivery of critical equipment. The ski and snowboard slopes were coated with a thick, long-lasting base of fast, icy artificial snow. With most of the construction and critical equipment in place, the Torino organizers orchestrated a heavy snow dump during Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, January 26, 27, and 28th.

The snow was beautiful but also snarled traffic tremendously. It took me 2-1/2 hours to find a taxi to get to work. Nevertheless the sacrifice was worthwhile to give Torino the beautiful white look necessary for a Winter Olympics. Here are the pictures.

This plaza, with a soldier on a horse, is where NBC television will have their daily broadcasts during the Olympics. The snow almost buried this blog's reporter Saw HsinHan. Fortunately numerous clothing stores are only a few steps away for reporters and television broadcasting people who might need additional warm clothes from Georgio Armani or Hermes.

McDonald's made sure that the snow had no affect on people's ability to reach the Golden Arches...fine food only 1 minute walk from the bus stop.

Elsewhere, traffic was a little bit difficult. However, Torino's parks and plazas lit up like a beautiful crystal under the blanket of snow. The Torino Winter Olympics should be a success.

My Working Trip - What I do here in Turin

My Job In Turin - The Specialist Who Knows Everything about Nothing

Many people think I am in Italy on vacation. In some ways that is true. I have enjoyed magnificent food, wonderful people, beautiful and historic sites, and learned many new things. In many ways this is a tremendous vacation from normal ordinary life. In fact, however, I also do some work every day. I am the president and chief engineer of an engineering consulting company called Cobalt Global Technologies. This means I get to work hard in technology projects all around the world, hopefully making a little money at the end of the day.

On this trip I am working with a company called Alenia Spazio. Alenia Spazio is an aerospace company who makes scientific space satellites, the human habitat modules for the International Space Station, and many other very high tech things for space exploration. I am here as an expert to teach them how to design and build the world's lightest weight pressure tanks for oxygen, nitrogen, and other gases.

This is a strange twist in life. In 1982 I began my career designing and building rockets for satellites such as the GPS global positioning satellites. Later I left the aerospace industry to bring space technology to the commercial market - saving weight and improving technology for firefighters' breathing systems, medical oxygen tanks, and clean fuel automobiles. Now I am bringing commercial technology for efficient design and manufacturing to the space industry. Life can form interesting circles, don't you think?

Working with the very clever engineers and technicians at Alenia Spazio, I have to prepare every day to keep one step ahead of them. We have meetings during the day where they ask me many difficult questions. Every night in my hotel, I must research and learn the answers - providing them the next day. Thank God for computers, emails, internet phones for cheap calls to other countries, and thank you Google. Without these tools every evening, the Alenia people might quickly overwhelm my limited memory.

I am not really sure how I became an expert in this small area. Some people are well educated in many things: history, technology, business, art, philosophy, languages. You might say these type of people know a little bit about everything. As for me, however, I am very knowledgeable in just one tiny field of technology. I am so specialized that I know everything about nothing.

On this project we do a difficult balancing act. In addition to knowing the technology, I must also be an expert in ITAR regulations about which technology the US government allows me to provide to foreign companies. Aerospace technology is controlled even to friendly countries like Italy. Therefore I must always make sure I am discussing only methods and techniques that are publicly available through open sources. On this project, for instance, I am restricting my teaching solely to pressure vessels using the latest lightweight technology developed for clean fuel buses and hydrogen fuel cell vehicles.

Today is my last day of working and straining my brain. Tomorrow is a vacation day for touring the area with Wonderful Jane. We have been receiving suggestions from all our friends - Genova, Venice, cross country skiing in the Italian Alps, museums and castles in Turin. Where do we start? So many great things to see and only one day. But then, who's complaining?

Terror of the Green Numbers, a story-teller better than me!

三寸不 爛之 舌

The Terror of the Green Numbers - or how to cope with Italian customer service.

Last night we enjoyed dinner in Torino with a great Italian guy named Patricio. Patricio is a natural born salesman and story teller with a tremendous passion for life. He tells far more and better stories than me. And he talks emphatically with his hands and facial gestures the whole time.

Patricio started by giving us a history of Italian food dating back more than a thousand years and catalogued by regions of Italy. Each region of Italy has its own delicious specialty of food. Patricio ticked off each one - exquisite pizza from Napoli, beef with tuna/caper/mayonaisse sauce from Piemonte, and so forth. The Master taught us that many "traditional" Italian foods were brought from elsewhere - tomatoes and tomato sauce, corn, potatoes all came from elsewhere. We learned that eating the best food is a total body experience for nearly every sense - touch, smell, sight, and taste. Eating should never be hurried, but instead savored. The Italian passion for food is perhaps unequalled anywhere in the world.

Then Patricio regaled us with stories of interesting customer service, or lack thereof, in Italy. For many generations Italian businesses were monopolies - you either accepted bad service or you went without necessary things. Therefore most people in Italy simply accept bad service with silent disdain. Not Patricio. His friends call him The Terror of the Green Numbers. In Italy, toll-free customer complaint numbers are displayed in green print on various tickets and packages. Patricio is famous for calling the green numbers and complaining about bad service. Sticking his chin out proudly and waving his hand through the air, he said, "I only have two choices with bad service. 1. Accept it with a smile through my teeth and say THANK YOU. or 2. Take my gun and kill them. Alore (Italian for well, then)- I don't normally carry a gun. So I choose option 3: call the green number for customer service and complain."

One of his stories involved a flight to USA with his mother. Their flight on Alitalia air lines was at 11 AM, leaving Milan airport for America. Patricio had selected seats specially so that his mother and he could sit together on the long flight. To make this flight, they used Alitalia's bus service from Torino to Milan, checking in at 6 AM. The Alitalia ticket agent said that her computer terminal was broken, she could not check them in to to the flight. She suggested they could check in at the Milan airport. Patricio and his mother took the bus to Milan, arriving at about 9:30 or 10. When they went to check in at the airport, they were told that their seats were no longer available. Patricio must sit in row 19 and his mother in row 35. Patricio complained and complained, saying that they must sit together. The ticket agent suggested that they should have checked in earlier - not checking in with only 1 hour until boarding. The ticket agent was unconcerned that they had actually tried to check in at 6 AM. The fault was Alitalia's but the ticket agent didn't care. Patricio and his mother could simply accept this bad service or not fly.

Patricio found Alitalia's green phone number and called the customer complaint department. With a stroke of luck, he managed to get the manager on the phone and complained quite loudly. The manager apologized and said she will do something for them. When Patricio and his mother reached the check-in line, they had been upgraded to business class in adjacent seats. The GREEN NUMBER worked much better than strangling the ticket agent.

When they returned from their vacation, Patricio noticed that his frequent flier miles were for economy class miles - which was what they actually paid for. Once again he called the green number to complain - couldn't they see that he and his mother had flown business class? (What courage!) Alitalia corrected the "mistake" and credited his account with double the miles. With these extra miles, Patricio was able to take a vacation with his wife. The Terror of the Green Numbers won again!

Early Morning Views of Torino

These are early morning views of Torino, taken around 6:00 AM on a frosty Sunday morning in January. The only Turin residents we saw up and about this early were the people who partied all night until 6:30 AM, when the local Disco Night Club closed. They didn't party all night: the sun wasn't up yet.















These pictures were taken along the scenic Flume Po river going through downtown Torino. Canoeing and riding in small boats are favorite sports in Torino. However, in January fewer people are willing to get wet so early in the morning. The impressive huge building on the hill is called Church of Santa Maria del Monte, on the Monte dei Cappuccini. These magnificent views were ample reward for venturing on an early morning walk along this scenic river.

Singapore Winter Olympic Committee Inspects Torino 2006 Status

The Torino 2006 Winter Olympics - Ready for Singapore?

January 22, 2006: Our intrepid Singapore reporter Saw HsinHan was dispatched by the Singapore Winter Olympic Committee to inspect the status of the preparations for the Torino 2006 Winter Olympics. She filed the following report.

With 20 days to go until the start of the games, the Torino preparations are going at full speed. It looks likely that with enough determination, the preparations will be finished at the very last minute.

The first site we inspected was the medals plaza, pictured here. Yes, the framework is in place. The construction engineers were looking at blueprints. Work should resume on Monday. It should be finished by the start of the medals presentations. GRADE: Hopeful.

The next area of inspection was the cleanliness of the statues. We inspected many of the statues closely. Yes, most of the statues meet acceptable standards of cleanliness, lack of graffiti, and no bird poop. The naked men statues were especially satisfactory. GRADE: VERY FINE.








Proximity of good shopping is particularly important for Singapore women who visit the Olympics. Fortunately, Torino is blessed with excellent shopping and all the top brands had excellent sales. Gucci handbags were marked down to only 400 Euros – 50% reduction!! The official Olympic shopping store was well stocked with Torino 2006 items. GRADE: Acceptable.

Traffic and Parking: Can you park your car in this tiny spot?
Me neither. GRADE: Take a taxi or bus, walk, bicycle, but don’t try to park a car.

Next we moved to Bardonecchia, the location of the Olympic Snowboard races. Here is a picture of Bardonecchia. It is a very beautiful mountain town in the Italian Alps. However, two things were noticed immediately. 1st: Snow and Ice. Very dangerous and slippery. 2nd: It was very cold - below 0 C temperature. Singapore people hate cold, snow, and ice. Winter Olympics should be warmer. GRADE: UNACCEPTABLE due to snow, ice, and cold.

The mountain map was inspected. Maps are very important for Singapore people who live in a small City/Country. If the map is good, then the skiing and snowboarding must be great. GRADE: Acceptable.

Singapore people hate cold weather, especially if we get hurt. We were directed to the Chief of the local rescue team. His name was CHIEF FURRY DOG. We tried to interview CHIEF DOG. Unfortunately he refused comment until we gave him part of our sandwich. GRADE: Warm and furry, but generally unreliable.

Singapore doesn’t yet have a snowboard or ski team. One of this reporter’s goals was to recruit athletes for the future Singapore National Snowboard and Ski team. Here are some likely candidates. The young skiers were unafraid of snow and cold, and could follow each other in a reasonably straight line. The tiger ears and tail on the helmets are perfect symbols for the Singapore Ski Uniforms. GRADE: EXCELLENT.

Finally, the streets of Bardonecchia were inspected for cleanliness, lack of snow and ice, and ease of transportation. The cobble-stone streets were dry, clean, and had very little traffic. The streets were fully wide enough for a single car or 2 horses to squeeze through. No snow or ice to slip and fall down: perfect for Singapore people. GRADE: Excellent.

All in all, the Torino Winter Olympics are expected to meet the requirements of the Singapore Winter Olympic Sports Committee. Outside of unacceptable amounts of snow and cold, most other parts of the Winter Olympics are quite good. This reporter gives Torino an enthusiastic endorsement. TWO THUMBS UP!

Arriving in Torino Italy, home of the 2006 Winter Olympics

Torino Italy - Home of the 2006 Winter Olympics

Wonderful Jane and I just arrived in Torino Italy for 9 days of work and a little fun…or in Wonderful Jane’s case, fun and a little work. Torino is called Turin in English. Turin is most famous in America for the “Shroud of Turin” the supposed burial shroud of Jesus Christ is stored here.

Torino is famous for many other things as well – the original home of Fiat and other fine automobile makers, home of the world’s 2nd largest Egyptian museum, and now the home of the 2006 Winter Olympics.

There is still a lot of construction going on here. Will everything be ready for the Olympics in only a few weeks from now? OF COURSE, no problem. It will be finished tomorrow, or maybe the day after that.....

We just arrived this afternoon. Already Wonderful Jane knew that “Saldi” = SALE in Italian. Jane spent a lot of time in Italy some years ago, so she knew this word very well. Or maybe women all over the world have an inner radar that allows them to recognize the words "SALE" and "DISCOUNT" in any language.

She found every great SALDI within 8 blocks of our hotel. Here she is investigating some beautiful leather purses and bags being offered at 50% off. We need to find a long one that looks nice for her Mom ... must not forget.

Torino is a very traditional European town, meaning that the streets are narrow and parking is virtually non-existent. To accommodate these narrow streets, the clever Europeans invented the Smart Car – a car so tiny that it fits two people, but only after they slip it on like a glove. Here is a picture of one of the Smart Cars. They make a Mini Cooper look like a SUV. It can be parked on the street at 90 degree angle, nose in to the curb. The Smart Car will be introduced to the USA in 2006 or 2007. I think it will make a great high speed golf cart for speed golfing.

Actually with the price of gas going up, the Smart Car will probably sell well in some parts of America. It’s a great car for short commutes.

The best part about Italy, of course, is the food and wine. Italians have a tremendous passion for great food and great wines. Naturally we enjoyed a 2 hour dinner with tons of appetizers (antipasto), superb meat and pasta as a main course, tiramisu and fruit for dessert, and some different wines and cappuccino. Tomorrow I will need a LOT of exercise to burn off those calories.

Wine helps people relax and sleep better, helping to prevent jet lag, isn't that right?? YES, OF COURSE! Salud!! Cheers!! Toast!! Ganbei!! Kanpai!!

Karate Black Belt Awards in Japan

This is one of my proudest moments, earning a 2nd degree black belt certificate in Japan. Here I am with my Masters and friends at the White Dragon Style Shotokan Team, Saitama Dojo, on August 3, 2005. In Japanese language that is spelled: 日本空手道白龍会さいたま道場。

I earned the black belt certificate nearly 2 years after hip replacement surgery. It took a lot of hard work to get back into shape and able to use my legs properly for karate once again. However, my kicks are still very low and slow. If I get in a fight and need to kick someone in the head, I'll politely ask my opponent to lie down first.

The testing went well. We did katas (pre-arranged forms) and - against the advice of my doctor and nurse sister - enjoyed fighting kumite (sparring) against other black belt players. These days I only do sparring in special situations as I want to protect my titanium hip. However, I had a great time and was able to protect my leg with no problems.

Every time I go to Japan, I must bring my karate do-gi (uniform) and practice with my fellow students. The uniform takes up more than half the space in my suitcase. After the workout, the uniform is more than twice its normal weight in sweat. Nevertheless it is still undoubtedly worthwhile carrying my karate uniform around the world to enjoy karate and friendship with these great people.

Now I'm working hard to earn my 3rd degree black belt. In 2 or 3 years of continuous work, it might be time... Anyone want to join me?

When Chinese People Come to America - Favorite Tourist Activity

Yes, that's right, Chinese people LOVE to take photographs. Usually they all photograph the same thing at the same time like choreographed dancers.

But hey, I'm guilty too. I love taking pictures and putting them on this silly blog.

Here we are at the Beach Pier in Santa Barbara, California, one of America's most beautiful cities. The sunset was gorgeous and well worth photographing. I was out with some friends who also work in the composite materials industry like me. These three good-looking young people are PhD science geniuses; one from Hangzhou, one from Suzhou, and one from Shenyang. We had a great discussion of what type of silane coating might work to improve the surface properties of carbon nanotubes. How do I fit in with this group? I have no idea.

Yes, we neglected to pay a food tip to the seagull who posed so patiently for our pictures.

I know what you're thinking. You probably started reading this post thinking that GOING TO LAS VEGAS is the #1 Chinese Favorite Tourist Activity? Probably true, but that's another story altogether.

COMMITMENT - Key to Success

破釜沉舟 Destroy the cooking pots and sink the ships
- ancient Chinese proverb for success in battle

Every person who wins in any undertaking must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining that state of mind known as a burning desire to win which is one of the essentials to success. - Napoleon Hill

International Relations - Binding your feet to prevent progress

裹足不前 - Binding Your Feet to Prevent Progress

Many times in my travels I have encountered prejudice, dislikes, and rivalries between the peoples of different countries. Many Scottish and Irish people retain sharp memories and prejudices from 400-year-old wars against England. Many people around the world dislike the actions of the American government through the last 20 or 30 years. And of course Chinese and Korean people sharply dislike Japan because of the 2nd World War, 70 years ago. I learn quickly that I need to walk on eggshells, avoid political discussions, and stay strictly neutral. Nevertheless, I am fascinated when observing how prejudice and strongly-held opinions influence people.

I have been extremely fortunate to meet many great people, some who treat me like family. I have met many kind-hearted and generous people around the world - people who are honest, simple, and good. I will never apologize for having good friends in Japan. Likewise I won't apologize for having good friends in China, in Korea, or elsewhere. I don't really care about governments and international rivalries. I care about people.

Sadly, I have listened to some examples of unfortunate talk. Some recent examples are:

• "I want to kill ALL Japanese people."
• "We Scots killed as many English as the Germans did. However, it took us 500 years to kill the same as Germany did in 2 wars."
• "It doesn't matter how the Nanjing people died. When it's your time to die, you die. How doesn't matter."
• "That Chinese university student in Fukuoka killed 4 Japanese people? Why did he stop at only 4?"

I am never sure how to react or what to say. Maybe I'm a coward, but I simply observe and say nothing. I need to find another way, perhaps. The most disheartening aspect of these statements is that they came from young people, not from the people who survived the actual wars many years before. People and governments have long memories, often preferring revenge to progress. Often, government leaders use grievances against foreign governments (or "terrorists") as propaganda to unite their people, getting people to overlook the weaknesses of their own leaders.

My philosophy for success is to concentrate on the positive aspects of a situation or task. Focusing too much on negatives - worrying more about failure or past problems - this often causes failure. The ancient Chinese proverb calls this 裹足不前 - binding your feet to prevent progress. Hopefully I can use this blog to illustrate positive features and good people in different countries.

For instance, today I was reading about a Japanese teacher named Toru Kato, 92, who received a special award from the Shenyang city government in northeastern China. The honor recognized Kato's decades-long contribution to the promotion of friendly relations between Shenyang and Sapporo, in Japan. http://www.asahi.com/English/Herald-asahi/TKY200601110127.html Kato Sensei spent many decades during and after the War helping young children in Shenyang get good educations.

"Teachers must devote themselves to the children's education irrespective of whether the students are Japanese or Chinese. It is a matter of course," Kato said.

Yes. That is how individual people can improve the world. One small step at a time.

Magic in the Mountains of Korea

The mountains near Changwon Korea form one of my favorite hiking places. The trails are challenging and steep, the scenery is beautiful, and the trails are full of friendly people. The best part, however, is the magic of the Buddhist temple at the foot of the mountain.

My first time to experience this magic was on a foggy, grey morning last spring. I was exploring the mountain trails and deciding how far up I wanted to go with rain ready to start at any minute. I stopped in a small glen in the forest and sat down for a short rest. Suddenly through the fog and trees, mysterious sounds drifted up to me. It was the haunting music of Buddhist drums and prayer chanting. I sat quietly and allowed the music to penetrate me - body, mind, and soul. I followed the sounds until I located the source - the Buddhist temple at the foot of the mountain. The music gave me new energy to climb to the summit despite the heavy rains that started falling. I was perfectly wet and happy at the same time!

Now whenever I am in Changwon, I do my best to go hiking in the mountains or just hang out near the temple and the Buddhist prayer chanting. The music never fails to penetrate my spirit and fill me with peace and energy. What a magical way to spend time in the forests and mountains!

Think your job is difficult?

自投 虎口 Voluntarily Stepping into the Tiger's Mouth

When you worry your job is too difficult, remember this one!

Recommendation Letter for Travel Visa outside China

孺子可 教 - This young person is worth educating

Hello folks. Occasionally some of my Chinese friends ask for my help in getting approval to travel outside of China for tourism or job related reasons. One of my friends asked for a letter of recommendation, but she didn’t tell me to whom I should address the letter. With my sense of humor that’s a BIG mistake. I wrote the following humorous letter. None of my Chinese friends will ever ask for my assistance again, I fear. All names are fictional, the events are real, more or less...

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION FOR PROFESSIONAL TRAVEL

For Attention of: President Hu Jintao
People’s Republic of China

Dear President Hu,

My good friend Miss Li Liming asked me to write a letter recommending her for professional travel outside of China. Miss Li is an excellent representative for China. She is a diligent and professional young engineer with a friendly heart. It is my pleasure to help her. Unfortunately, she did not tell me to whom I should address this letter, or give me instructions where to send it. Therefore I decided to write directly to you. I trust you can find the proper person to assist my good friend.

Miss Li is a young research engineer in the area of advanced composite materials used in airplanes, space craft, sporting equipment, and automobiles. I believe Miss Li will be a great contributor to this vital industry. I have been impressed with her great intelligence, an inquisitive mind, and a diligent hard working spirit. President Hu, I understand that you once were a young engineer with a promising future. Perhaps you can understand very well the importance of international business and professional travel to help develop young engineers into China’s future leaders.

China, of course, has many excellent young people. It is possible that you might not know Miss Li personally. I should take this opportunity to discuss Miss Li’s particular fine points. This will help you know her better.

Miss Li works in a prestigious research institute near Beijing. In the last 12 months I worked extensively with Miss Li, her leaders and her colleagues. In spite of difficult tasks and long hours, Miss Li demonstrated excellent spirit, persistence, and determination.

Miss Li has the unique ability to use good humor with her leadership skills. One night at midnight, I came to their workshop after enjoying a fun evening of dinner, beer, and karaoke singing. Miss Li and her colleagues were still working through the night. I asked, “Why are you not finished yet?” Miss Li pretended to be very angry. She wrapped me in carbon fiber like a big fat silkworm and put me in the cold freezer. This simple action provided tremendous cheer for her coworkers and helped them work faster. Happy workers produce better quality. Through the locked freezer door, I was so happy to hear everyone laughing for hours. Fortunately she remembered to release me before going home.

Miss Li is also a humble and charming wife. She is always praising her husband and telling me good compliments about him. President Hu, I know what you are thinking: “This does not sound like any Chinese wife in history.” I certainly agree…I have a Chinese wife myself. Every time I visit Miss Li, I bring gifts for her husband of magazines and books with pictures of beautiful women. Miss Li is very helpful. When giving the books to her husband, she circles and points out the pictures of the most beautiful women. She does not remove the pictures of the unfortunate beautiful women who forgot to wear clothes. Her husband is a very fortunate man.

Miss Li is a patient teacher to me for Chinese language and culture. She enjoys teaching me many Chinese words, history, and art. One evening, Miss Li was teaching me a Chinese song. As soon as she started singing, many dogs howled to sing with her, glass windows and tea cups shattered, and some old buildings collapsed. Her voice might be perfect for Beijing opera.

Miss Li taught me that dancing can be used for leadership with Chinese workers. One night at a KTV bar, Miss Li cleverly hid her true dancing skills and pretended to have little ability. Her dancing brought tremendous cheer and laughter to her coworkers. Everyone in her workshop worked harder for many weeks, laughing and smiling when they remembered her special dance.

President Hu, I could keep writing about Miss Li’s special virtues. However I hear that sometimes you are a little bit busy. I will conserve your time. In summary, Miss Li is an excellent representative for China. China will benefit greatly from Miss Li’s development of her professional skills and growing network of international friends. I offer only one caution – please ask her not to sing near buildings with many glass windows.

I remain China’s humble friend.

Shaun 酒王

Polygamy in USA: Seldom Seen Smith Lives!

In some places in America, some people still live in polygamous families - families with one father and multiple wives. I wrote this letter as a humorous fiction - all the names are fictitious. The character of Seldom Seen Smith is borrowed from Edward Abby's fine novel The Monkey Wrench Gang.

Proposal for Marriage, from Seldom Seen Smith

To: Miss Elizabeth Lee

Dear Miss Lee;

I am writing this letter because we met briefly at the restaurant in Moab. I said to myself, “That girl is very beautiful. She’s pretty enough to make a man forget any other woman.” Then God scolded me for my impure thoughts. Gold told me that I should marry you and share a lifetime of happiness with you. Usually I am quite shy and would never approach a fine lady like you. However I cannot ignore a Commandment from God. Therefore I am writing to humbly offer myself as a husband.

Now I understand you are not the type of woman to marry someone sight unseen. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Joseph Smith, named after my great grandfather, the founder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormon Church. I am a little bit older than you, I admit. But that should be no problem. I am hard working and very intelligent. I can work one of these here computers. I am clean and well groomed, extremely handsome for my age, still have some of my own teeth, and am still able to drive a car at night. I have a romantic heart. I know how to treat women right and make them feel wanted.

Although I was raised a Mormon, I have to warn you that the Church and I don’t agree on everything. My bishop thinks that I’ve strayed from the True Path (“rocketed himself off it like a ballistic missile,” he likes to say) and he calls me a randy old goat. The bishop claims he likes to keep me around as a good example of the power of religion... the “BEFORE” example, that is. That old fool has a colorful way with words and he likes to exaggerate. I prefer to believe that I’m an independent thinker who happens to think women are good clean fun.

I currently have six wonderful wives, so if you marry me you would be fortunate enough to become number seven. I have two wives in northern Utah, two in southern Utah, and two in southern Wyoming. It takes me some time to visit each of them. Therefore my wives started calling me “Seldom Seen” Smith. Now they just call me Seldom and some seldom call me. I believe that women are like mares; some are best for working, some for breeding, and some are best for pleasure riding. If you will excuse the coarse language, my current wives are now good for breeding and working. I need a good young mare for pleasure riding.

Someone as beautiful as you might already have a man. That’s OK. He can join our family. Although my horns are still hard, it’s getting more difficult for an old bull like me to handle a herd of women all by myself. If your man is healthy enough, I could teach him how to be “Seldom Seen II.” Or if he has enough strength to handle 7 women all at the same time (something I don’t recommend), he could be “Often Seen” while I just stop by occasionally to poke around a bit.

Now you may wonder if my polygamous family is legal. I am pleased to announce it is. My wife Betsy is an attorney and my wife Barbara is an excellent accountant. They got together and formed our family into a corporation. They jokingly call it a “Subchapter P” corporation for the purposes of polygamy. The way I see it, my “P corporation” makes a lot more sense than the gay homosexual marriages everyone is talking about these days. With my wealth and the ladies’ brains, we have a good thing going. Our corporation offers generous profit sharing bonuses, insurance policies, investment funds, pension plans, and college education funds for the kids. I will ask my wife Belinda to send you a copy of our annual report including a picture of me, my six wives, and 54 children. I can’t remember how many grandchildren and great grandchildren I have. Let’s just say that the family name Smith will live on for a good long time.

Miss Lee, please think about my proposal and pray for guidance. God told me this is the right thing to do and I hope he will tell you the same. You can contact me at the address shown below when you decide to marry me and join our happy family.

Please don’t take too much time making up your mind. I once asked a fine young girl named Bess to marry me and be the mother of my children. She got a mean look in her eyes and asked just how many children I had. By the time I counted them all, Bess had already married another guy and had two kids of her own. You can understand that I’ve learned to move quickly. I hope to hear from you soon.

Your humble servant,

Joseph Seldom Seen Smith

Rural Route 2
Rattlesnake Pass, Utah 84099
USA

English Language Lesson: Paint a picture to improve your skills

Paint a picture to improve your language skills

You might say I am a little bit lazy when learning new languages. I hate to study and memorize a big list of words every day. I worry that when I try to talk, the wrong word might pop out. I might forget the proper word for a new situation. I hate feeling like my toungue is stuck in mud. Maybe I'll look more foolish than usual. I want it all - I want good language skills with zero effort. Therefore I stumbled on the Lazy Man's guide to increased language skills: Paint a picture with words.

Did you ever notice that some people communicate well with few words? Other people memorize a lot of words, but still cannot talk well. What is the difference? Simple answer: painting pictures with words, using similes and metaphors, is the way to communicate with a small vocabulary. Make an image in people's minds and you can communicate with no problem.

Here is how we paint pictures to communicate ideas:

Difficult English word: Tenacious. Paint the picture: Susan clings to a task like an octopus.

Difficult English Word: Impenetrable. Paint the picture: Ideas bounce off his head like rain on a stone.

Difficult English Word: Perceptive Paint the picture: Her eagle eyes notice everything.

English phrase: increase steadily. Paint the picture: The Chinese economy is rising like a balloon.

English phrase: a beautiful woman. Paint the picture: She is as pretty as a spring day in winter.

As you can see, there is no need to memorize the difficult English words. Just use the few words you know and draw an image or picture.

My friend John is expert at using images to communicate. This really helps him in his ability to be a playboy with many girlfriends. John claims that he only needs to know a few words of any language. He says many charming things like: "Honey, your eyes are bright like the stars in the sky." or "Honey, you are the most beautiful flower in the garden." or, "Honey, your hair is as soft as silk." His girlfriends are so happy at his smooth words that most don't worry about the truth: maybe he says the same 3 or 4 phrases to all attractive women.

John calls all of his girlfriends "Honey"- as a very sweet love. Being called "Honey" makes each girl feel special and loved. John has his own reason for using "Honey" - he wants to avoid calling a woman the wrong name at a bad time. Fortunately his girlfriends each live in different cities, a big help in keeping secrets. Recently, however, John carries this philosophy too far. He calls ALL females "honey" - his many girlfriends, his female coworkers, his sister, his niece, and even his female dog. THAT was too much - his dog Honey quickly became suspicious and jealous. His dog demanded a new name.

After several weeks of debate between man and dog, John reluctantly agreed and called his dog the new name "Jewel." Thinking about it, John decided a simple rule: Women might be as sweet as honey. but a faithful dog is as good as gold.
千女朋友好, 一狗千金

Heroes from History: Funakoshi Gichin 船越儀珍 Father of Modern Karate 日本空手道

Funakoshi Gichin 船越儀珍
1868 to 1957

If there is one man who can be credited with bringing the martial art of Karate 空手道 to Japan and the world, that man is Funakoshi Gichin. Master Funakoshi lived from 1868 to 1957. In 1922, at the age of 53 years old he introduced karate to Japan from Okinawa. Yes, that is correct. Karate-do is not a long-standing traditional Japanese martial art, but actually a relatively recent transplant. Karate blossomed in Japan under his able teaching and that of his students & instructors. After World War 2, Master Funakoshi’s students and instructors - masters in their own right - helped spread karate to the rest of the world. Funakoshi’s primary style of karate is called Shotokan. Other major styles arising from Master Funakoshi’s roots include Shotokai, Wado-ryu, Gosoku-ryu, and others.

Master Funakoshi’s life started humbly in Okinawa. He was a sickly baby and frail child. His family, fearing he might not live long, encouraged young Gichin to start learning karate to improve his health. Like many people since (me included), he found that karate cast a spell over him. He threw himself into the task of mastering karate; mind, body and soul. Master Funakoshi became strong, outgoing, and very healthy. At the age of 90, he wrote that he had never once in his life had to consult a physician or to take any medicine. Master Funakoshi taught through example that karate training is a strong defense against illness and disease.

Discipline and rigorous training are hallmarks of Funakoshi’s teaching methods and his way of life. Schools based in Master Funakoshi’s methods use repetition, repetition, and repetition of basic techniques and kata (pre-arranged fighting movement forms). Master Funakoshi believed that it takes 3 years of continuous practice to master one kata. Master Funakoshi and his students trained every day to harden their bodies and train their spirits to meet any challenge.

The true way to gage immortality of a great person is to see their remaining effect after their death. Master Funakoshi’s immortality is evident in today’s world of martial arts. Even now, nearly 50 years after his death, I can identify easily and instantly the true students and teachers of his style. I have been fortunate to train with modern karate masters in California, Utah, Indiana, England, and of course Japan. Each of the great schools has the same training methods – hours of repetitions of basic techniques (known as kihon waza), hours of repetitions of kata, and strong training in kumite (sparring). When I bow and step into a school of Shotokan, Wado, Gosoku, Shito-ryu or other traditional style, I know in advance what I will see: thousands of repetitions, strong stances, precise forms, and LOTS OF PERSPIRATION.

Even though Master Funakoshi taught an indomitable fighting art, he preached that karate should be used only for defense. He taught that in “karate there is no attack” 空手に先手なし. This rule is engraved on Master’s Funakoshi’s gravestone in the city of Kamakura, Japan. Here is a picture of me at his gravesite with my master Shihan Nakai and his student Nishimura Akiko - the small lady who throws a strong punch.

Another rule I learned from my karate masters: Karate begins and ends with courtesy. This was drilled into my brain from the first day of lessons as a white belt. This simple rule has been tremendous help for me as a foreigner to learn how to do business in Japan, China, and Korea. Now I know that in Asia, all aspects of life begin and end with courtesy. This is rule number 1 for being successful in Asia.

One of my favorite stories is from the time Master Funakoshi was 80 years old, just after World War 2. He was confronted by a strong young thief, probably a recent soldier. When the thief made a move toward him, Master Funakoshi ducked and grabbed the poor man by the testicles in a strong painful grip. Fortunately a policeman came and took the poor thief into custody. Master Funakoshi finishes the story by apologizing for taking action against this poor young man. This humble old master was rather embarrassed by his lack of control . (I suspect the poor young man was rather embarrassed himself - selecting the wrong 80 year-old grandfather to rob.)

I have learned a lot about life and proper living from my karate masters and the training they give me. These masters include Kyoshi Jim Mather in San Jose, California and Shihan Nakai in Saitama Japan. Hopefully my training will continue for many more years. Karate truly becomes a Tao, a Do, 道, a way of life.

Readers can learn much more about this amazing and humble man through his autobiography book, Karate-Do, My Way of Life, and also on numerous sources on the internet http://www.shotokai.com/ingles/bios/funakos2.html

Karate in the Desert Dojo

空手の沙漠の道場
も一回　も一回　も一回　も一回　も一回。。。。

Repetition, repetition, repetition is the basic rule of teaching and learning karate and all Asian martial arts. The body, mind, and spirit must be trained to memorize each movement and do it exactly the same way, properly, each time - without thinking. Every day, 100 kicks, 100 punches, 100 blocks? Not enough. Try tripling that. When do you learn the proper way to do a punch, kick, or block? Many masters say, after 3000 repetitions. That qualifies a novice. 3000 repetitions says you just began to learn.

I started the New Year the right way, practicing Karate-do every morning, outside in the cold desert sunrise. The desert hill, with the sun rising early in the cold winter morning - this was a great way to collect my thoughts and gather my spirit with karate exercises. The temperature each morning was a frosty 3C (about 40F) - I regret that I was not barefoot but needed shoes. I have to admit that I didn't practice as hard as I should - I was sick with a cold, cough, and sore throat. Nevertheless, I continued my repetitions each day - one more time, one more time, one more time. That is the way, the "do" (pronounced "doe" in Japanese), the Tao, 道、of karate. Following this discipline in all aspects of life, I hope, will lead to excellence in my other endeavors as well.

My goal this year is the same as every year - to improve my body, my spirit, and my self. Hopefully karate-do practice every morning will contribute. My next goal? To find schools and teachers in each place I travel, to meet martial artists around the world, and to improve my own skill. Let's hope it works.

Oh, I shouldn't forget. I also want to learn Squawking Chicken Kung Fu (see my previous blog). China has an ancient book called "36 Strategies for Victory." People who read Chinese characters or Japanese kanji know that I quote the 36 Strategies quite often in my blogs. Strategy number 36 is: when all else fails, RUN. Distance - always the best defense.

Squawking Chicken Kung Fu

走為上計 …三 十 六 計

Announcing the American Introduction of
Squawking Chicken Kung Fu 鸡功夫
The ancient self defense method of Chinese Martial Arts Masters.

Grandmaster Chang Xinhua is pleased to announce the opening of a new martial arts school in Los Angeles, California dedicated to teaching the ancient Chinese martial art of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu. Following more than two thousand years of strict silence and secrecy about this ancient martial art, Grandmaster Chang’s new school represents the first time it has been taught outside his own family in China. Martial arts students in Los Angeles have a rare opportunity to be the first in America to study the amazingly effective self defense techniques of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu.

Squawking Chicken Kung Fu was started more than two thousand years ago by one of Grandmaster Chang’s ancestors. One day ancient master Chang was planting his garden when he noticed a tiger sneaking up on one of his chickens. Just as the tiger leaped, the chicken let out a loud “SQUAWK!!,” jumped into the air while flapping its wings, and ran away, escaping from the tiger’s grasp. Ancient master Chang quickly realized that his chicken had perfected the most effective form of self defense known to nature - distract your opponent and escape. The fascinated Ancient Chang spent the next twenty years observing his chickens escape from predators, some successful and some not, until he understood their techniques well enough to mimic the chickens’ movements and start a martial arts system of his own. The system has been handed down and perfected in strict secrecy from generation to generation of the Chang family. Until now, that is, as Grandmaster Chang decided to impart this ancient wisdom to American students.

According to Grandmaster Chang, the goal of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu is to yell or scream very loudly at your opponent, jump away from his attack, and then run away very quickly. This martial arts style is a very effective form of self defense, can be practiced by people of all ages, is passive and avoids confrontations.

Classes at Grandmaster Chang’s school focus on three areas of training: screaming, jumping, and running. Students practice screaming at different pitches and decibel levels, and also yell different words or phrases based on what attack is coming. A typical Squawking Chicken class sounds like a combination of an opera singing and a hog calling contest. Some students can yell louder than 160 decibels. Grandmaster Chang claims his grandmother could be heard from a distance of twenty kilometers. The jumping classes focus on exercises to build explosive leg strength. Students practice jumping straight up, forward, backward, and angles to the side so they will be ready to escape an attack from any direction. Finally, the running classes focus on developing raw speed for short distances. Students usually run endless sprints, forward, backward, and sideways. As Grandmaster Chang notes, “Slow Tai Chi movements are good for meditation. Karate, wing chun and wushu train you for fights that might get you hurt. However Squawking Chicken Kung Fu builds speed to escape.”

Grandmaster Chang invites all interested persons to visit his new school in Los Angeles.

English Language Lesson: Hanging Out

The Art of Hanging Out

Hanging out is the subject of today’s English lesson. Hanging out is the art of sitting around, relaxing, and doing nothing. I say it is an “art” because in today’s complex world, simply doing nothing takes planning, effort, and creativity. Hanging out is a curious task where perfection is reached when we avoid all effort.

In the past, hanging out was a daily recreation for people everywhere around the world. There were no televisions, cell phones, computers, high pressure jobs, or deadlines to finish multiple projects. There were no psychiatrists, expensive doctors, or lawyers. Often there was no money. People never realized how miserable they were without today’s important things. They had a good time relaxing, chatting with their friends and family, playing card games, and enjoying a simpler lifestyle.

Hanging out can be done by yourself or with a group. Often I hang out alone. I love to hang out at the beach, in the mountains, or in a shopping mall or coffee shop watching other people. Forget the mobile phone. Stay away from TV. Don’t even think about work. Hanging out is a great way to recharge my inner batteries, refresh my positive spirit, and forget my worries. When I hang out at the beach near my house, I am rewarded with views of dolphins swimming, people and dogs playing in the surf, birds cruising on the breeze, and views of many beautiful women enjoying the warm weather.

Every activity has risks, and hanging out is no different. One time I was hanging out at the beach and a beautiful girl with large breasts jogged past me, magnificently bouncing up and down as she ran. I sucked in my stomach, sat taller, and tried to look elegant, sophisticated, and mildly disinterested. Suddenly a bicycle ran over my foot, tangling my shoe strings in the bicycle’s frame. Fortunately I was able to free myself only 50 meters later, limiting the embarrassment to my usual daily amount. My friends understand well that “elegant” and “sophisticated” are two words that never fit me.

Hanging out with friends or family is truly enjoyable. It allows us to bond and renew our relationships. We can joke, eat, tell stories, play card games, go sightseeing, remember the good times in the past, and build memories for the future. We can refresh our spirits and prepare for another hectic day at work. I am really fortunate in this way. I have friends all over the world with whom I have hung out. Thank you VERY much! I can’t wait to hang out with you again.