Singapore Winter Olympic Committee Inspects Torino 2006 Status

The Torino 2006 Winter Olympics - Ready for Singapore?

January 22, 2006: Our intrepid Singapore reporter Saw HsinHan was dispatched by the Singapore Winter Olympic Committee to inspect the status of the preparations for the Torino 2006 Winter Olympics. She filed the following report.

With 20 days to go until the start of the games, the Torino preparations are going at full speed. It looks likely that with enough determination, the preparations will be finished at the very last minute.

The first site we inspected was the medals plaza, pictured here. Yes, the framework is in place. The construction engineers were looking at blueprints. Work should resume on Monday. It should be finished by the start of the medals presentations. GRADE: Hopeful.

The next area of inspection was the cleanliness of the statues. We inspected many of the statues closely. Yes, most of the statues meet acceptable standards of cleanliness, lack of graffiti, and no bird poop. The naked men statues were especially satisfactory. GRADE: VERY FINE.








Proximity of good shopping is particularly important for Singapore women who visit the Olympics. Fortunately, Torino is blessed with excellent shopping and all the top brands had excellent sales. Gucci handbags were marked down to only 400 Euros – 50% reduction!! The official Olympic shopping store was well stocked with Torino 2006 items. GRADE: Acceptable.

Traffic and Parking: Can you park your car in this tiny spot?
Me neither. GRADE: Take a taxi or bus, walk, bicycle, but don’t try to park a car.

Next we moved to Bardonecchia, the location of the Olympic Snowboard races. Here is a picture of Bardonecchia. It is a very beautiful mountain town in the Italian Alps. However, two things were noticed immediately. 1st: Snow and Ice. Very dangerous and slippery. 2nd: It was very cold - below 0 C temperature. Singapore people hate cold, snow, and ice. Winter Olympics should be warmer. GRADE: UNACCEPTABLE due to snow, ice, and cold.

The mountain map was inspected. Maps are very important for Singapore people who live in a small City/Country. If the map is good, then the skiing and snowboarding must be great. GRADE: Acceptable.

Singapore people hate cold weather, especially if we get hurt. We were directed to the Chief of the local rescue team. His name was CHIEF FURRY DOG. We tried to interview CHIEF DOG. Unfortunately he refused comment until we gave him part of our sandwich. GRADE: Warm and furry, but generally unreliable.

Singapore doesn’t yet have a snowboard or ski team. One of this reporter’s goals was to recruit athletes for the future Singapore National Snowboard and Ski team. Here are some likely candidates. The young skiers were unafraid of snow and cold, and could follow each other in a reasonably straight line. The tiger ears and tail on the helmets are perfect symbols for the Singapore Ski Uniforms. GRADE: EXCELLENT.

Finally, the streets of Bardonecchia were inspected for cleanliness, lack of snow and ice, and ease of transportation. The cobble-stone streets were dry, clean, and had very little traffic. The streets were fully wide enough for a single car or 2 horses to squeeze through. No snow or ice to slip and fall down: perfect for Singapore people. GRADE: Excellent.

All in all, the Torino Winter Olympics are expected to meet the requirements of the Singapore Winter Olympic Sports Committee. Outside of unacceptable amounts of snow and cold, most other parts of the Winter Olympics are quite good. This reporter gives Torino an enthusiastic endorsement. TWO THUMBS UP!