Squawking Chicken Kung Fu

走為上計 …三 十 六 計

Announcing the American Introduction of
Squawking Chicken Kung Fu 鸡功夫
The ancient self defense method of Chinese Martial Arts Masters.

Grandmaster Chang Xinhua is pleased to announce the opening of a new martial arts school in Los Angeles, California dedicated to teaching the ancient Chinese martial art of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu. Following more than two thousand years of strict silence and secrecy about this ancient martial art, Grandmaster Chang’s new school represents the first time it has been taught outside his own family in China. Martial arts students in Los Angeles have a rare opportunity to be the first in America to study the amazingly effective self defense techniques of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu.

Squawking Chicken Kung Fu was started more than two thousand years ago by one of Grandmaster Chang’s ancestors. One day ancient master Chang was planting his garden when he noticed a tiger sneaking up on one of his chickens. Just as the tiger leaped, the chicken let out a loud “SQUAWK!!,” jumped into the air while flapping its wings, and ran away, escaping from the tiger’s grasp. Ancient master Chang quickly realized that his chicken had perfected the most effective form of self defense known to nature - distract your opponent and escape. The fascinated Ancient Chang spent the next twenty years observing his chickens escape from predators, some successful and some not, until he understood their techniques well enough to mimic the chickens’ movements and start a martial arts system of his own. The system has been handed down and perfected in strict secrecy from generation to generation of the Chang family. Until now, that is, as Grandmaster Chang decided to impart this ancient wisdom to American students.

According to Grandmaster Chang, the goal of Squawking Chicken Kung Fu is to yell or scream very loudly at your opponent, jump away from his attack, and then run away very quickly. This martial arts style is a very effective form of self defense, can be practiced by people of all ages, is passive and avoids confrontations.

Classes at Grandmaster Chang’s school focus on three areas of training: screaming, jumping, and running. Students practice screaming at different pitches and decibel levels, and also yell different words or phrases based on what attack is coming. A typical Squawking Chicken class sounds like a combination of an opera singing and a hog calling contest. Some students can yell louder than 160 decibels. Grandmaster Chang claims his grandmother could be heard from a distance of twenty kilometers. The jumping classes focus on exercises to build explosive leg strength. Students practice jumping straight up, forward, backward, and angles to the side so they will be ready to escape an attack from any direction. Finally, the running classes focus on developing raw speed for short distances. Students usually run endless sprints, forward, backward, and sideways. As Grandmaster Chang notes, “Slow Tai Chi movements are good for meditation. Karate, wing chun and wushu train you for fights that might get you hurt. However Squawking Chicken Kung Fu builds speed to escape.”

Grandmaster Chang invites all interested persons to visit his new school in Los Angeles.