English Language Lesson: I blew it

This is a lesson for my friends around the world who study English. I'm not a teacher. I just write about random phrases that pop into my head.

Today’s English lesson is the phrase “I blew it” (past tense) or “Blow it” (future and present tense). “I blew it” means I made huge mistake.

To tell you the 100% truth, I never need to say “I blew it,” only HE blew it or SHE blew it. I never make a mistake. I wouldn’t lie, would I? In the interest of presenting the truth for this story, I asked my wife if she recalled me making a mistake. After careful thinking, she looked up to me and said, “This tea is a little weak, should I try a different brand next time?” Yes, we do make a good match for each other.

How do we use this phrase? Here’s how. Let’s say that I locked my keys inside my car. It is a dark snowy night and there is nowhere for me to get warm. I call my wife and say, “I blew it. I locked my keys in the car.” She finishes my sentence by saying, “AGAIN!!??”

If we want someone not to make a mistake, we say “don’t blow it!” The baseball player tries to hit the ball. His coach yells, “DON’T BLOW IT!”

Here are some mistakes where people blew it.

Shaun (yes, me) fell 30 meters from a cliff, hit the ground. I blew it BIG TIME. Yes, that’s right: 30 meters straight down to the ground. I was only 17 years old. Good thing. Everyone knows that boys that age have no brain. The rocks in my head cushioned the fall.

George Bush went to war in Iraq: he blew it. Every international leader should read SunZi’s warning in The Art of War (孙子兵法) “The superior general wins the war without fighting a single battle.”

The bank robber tried escaping in a city bus. He BLEW IT. The police saw him standing at the bus stop holding the bag of money. They asked him if he just robbed the bank. He said, “Yes, but excuse me please. I need to get on this bus.” True story from the newspaper.

Yes, I know. Sometimes we all get an opportunity to say, I BLEW IT. That’s OK. But the real fun comes from telling other people “YOU BLEW IT.” Good. Now here’s your English assignment. Go find ten people today who made a mistake and say, “Oh my God, you blew it!” If you survive without being killed or maimed, report back to me. I like hearing a good survival story.

Me a teacher? - 愚 者 千 盧 ，必 有 一 得